Apologies, but death was needed
by Mage-of-Space-12
Summary: Hollyleaf and Ashfur make up in StarClan. Just a quick little one-shot. :T


_**Apologies, but death was needed~**_

I bounded through StarClan. Nerves eat at my paws, causing me to stumble quite a lot. Honeyfern waves a greeting but I ignore it. My breath shook as I slowed to a halt. I glance around, hoping-

Mouse-dung.

The gray, oh-so-familiar cat appeared. I sigh, breath shaking. "Uh-" it comes out too quiet for him to hear. "Um..." StarClan, how do I get his attention? I don't want to be murdered! Like...haha...I did to him. I stand on the tips of my paws and go back down, trembling. I'm pretty sure my tail is fluffed bigger than a fox. "Er..." I stammer, paws shaking. My black fur stands on end. He's standing right there...HOLY STARCLAN- He sees me! His blue eyes flash as he walks toward me. NONONONONONONONONO, I scream in my head. NO. WHY did I try to talk this out?

"So-" I start to blurt out. "OOoooohhhhhhh hey. A-Ashy." Ashfur stares at me. "Er. Ha." Ashfur continues to stare.

...

...

...

"Hollyleaf." His voice is calm and controlled, but GREAAT STARCLAN, look at his eyes. Proper maniac. He wants to rip me apart, doesn't he? Yes. He does. "Look." I say. "Ass- I mean, I mean, ASH, um-" Ashfur sighs. "Can I say sorry?" I blink. "But that's what I want to say," I argue. Ashfur smiles. "I want to go first." I nod. "Well, I'm sorry, first of all, about- trying to kill you." His voice cracks. "I- I was selfish. And greedy. I thought of nothing but myself. I wanted Squirrelflight, but- it ripped me apart to see her choose Bramblecl- Bramble _star_. So I tried to make her feel the same pain I felt. I tried to kill Firestar, and you." He shakes his head. "I was young and foolish, all I wanted was a mate and kits. But I wanted it so bad- I- I-"

Ashfur starts to cry a little, and wipes his eyes with his tail. "Ahuh, sorry. I just- do you understand? And forgive me?" I consider screaming 'No!' and throwing my apology away, but he looked properly and genuinely sorry. "Okay, I forgive you." Ashfur grins. "Thank you." He shakes away his tears, which were forming again, and gives a tiny smile. "Would you like to..?" I nod and take a deep breath. But memory overwhelms me.

 _Burning fire. Jayfeather, Lionblaze and I watch as Ashfur faces Squirrelflight with a bitter expression. The fire burns my pelt. I stare as they yowl._

 _"Enough, Ashfur! Your quarrel is with_ me."

 _"The only way to make you feel the pain I felt is to kill your kits!"_

 _"Go ahead. Kill them then. That won't hurt me. You'll have to find something better than that!"_

 _The dreaded lines pour into my ears and repeat over. And over. And over. In my head._

 _"They are not my kits!"_

 _Horror. Absoulute horror. And Ashfur, his response..._

 _I can't let him tell. I can't. What can I do to silence him-_

 _An idea. Bright, cold, penetrating.I tremble. I know what to do now._

I realize I had zoned out for a while, and Ashfur looked worried. "Are you okay?" His voice was far in the distance as memory strikes once more.

 _I left him bleeding out on that streaam shore...he's going to die up there,_ **I tOrE aWaY hIs BrEaThInG sPaCe.**

 _Blood runs around my paws. I stare as the life drains from his eyes- a single thought-_

 _what have I done._

 _I can't face the Clan. A lie, a lie- I'll say rogues killed him, yes. Rogues._

 _But this blood. I need to wash it from my paws fast. What if they don't believe me?_

 _Oh no._

 _They're going to rip me apart. StarClan..._

 _Now I've got nothing to live for..._

 _Leafpool next, then. Leafpool next. Deathberries for her._

I jolt out of the past. "S-sorry." I stare at Ashfur and take a deep breath. "I'm sorry I killed you, but I couldn't let everyone else know we were half-Clan, and the children of Leafpool. And- what you did. I was angry. Please forgive me?" Ashfur dipped his head. "I forgive you," he mewed. They began to walk side by side. "You know, many cats have made up in StarClan for events while they were living. Tallstar and Sandgorse, Crookedstar and Rainflower." He sighed. "Now it's our turn."

I nod slowly. "Do you think they hate me?" Ashfur turned to look at her. "They?" I nodded. "You know, my Clan. Do you think they hate me? For killing you?" Ashfur shrugged. "I doubt they even know you were responsible." I sigh, remembering when I was still alive. I look down at the starlight sparkling around my paws. "But Thornclaw was so close to the truth. They must have put two and two together by now, which makes four, and also equals the truth."

Ashfur flicked his tail. "I dunno." I think of when I was an apprentice. Those were the good times, I thought. Very good. Not a care in the world- except for Lionblaze- paw, at the time- breaking the warrior code. But he shouldn't have been visiting Heathertail, the cheeky bastard! I feel a fresh wave of sadness as I remember my brothers. Brave Lionblaze, cranky Jayfeather...I realize I'm crying and wipe my eyes. "I miss them..." Ashfur looked on sympathetically, and puts his tail tip on my shoulder. I feel comforted by the touch. "It's okay," he purred. "I miss Squirrelflight, and everyone else, too."

We continue to walk. Cats watch as two cats, once enemies, now walked in peace.


End file.
